A few months ago, I gave birth to my first baby, a precious little girl named Joan. As a new mother, I’ve been trying to learn all I can about how to care for my little one. This has included purchasing lots of baby books, frantic late night internet searches, frequent doctors visits, desperate calls to my mother, seeking advice from friends, and lots of tears when things don’t go right.
After Joan was born, I noticed other women with multiple children who seemed to be handling everything with ease, while for me, simply getting Joan in her in her car seat and leaving the house felt like a massive undertaking. To make things worse, from very early on Joan was often inconsolable. She would cry for hours and wouldn’t sleep, and nothing I did seemed to help. I remember having a conversation with my husband about how inadequate I felt and about how much I was struggling.
I noticed I was in a similar self-judging situation that many of my clients find themselves in. Fortunately, I’ve had the privilege of helping both women and men stuck in self-judgment let go of their internal critic and develop a sense of worthiness and self-love. This experience gave me the opportunity to once again apply this knowledge in my own life. Here are five of the tips I use in my practice to help clients overcome perfectionism and develop an authentic sense of worthiness.
Tiffany Winegar is a therapist at the American Fork Center for Couples and Families. With a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from Brigham Young University, she specializes in couple’s therapy.